Nuraini's

Dear Journal , 

Now I understand when people says Nothing Really Lasts Forever . No matter how much we love somebody , we'll never gonna have them till the end . They will go . In my story , I pushed him away . But , that's what I really do , I pushed people away . I don't really have anybody . Friends , not even family . And it's so sad . It hurts too much that I must try to be fine , pretending to move on , and I must keep faking and faking . It's killing me slowly inside . I'm so sad , so broken , so falling and I am sure that I'm not gonna able to get up again . There's too many whys and hows in my head . They are spinning and driving me insane . There's no answers for those . 

You know , every time I am happy , when I smiled , I laughed , it wont , it never lasts long . Maybe , I've been punished for my wrongs in the past . 

The truth is I am weak . I am not that strong . My heart is very very very fragile . But one fact about me is , I am really good at faking and acting and hiding my true feelings . People never know how broken I am . How the scars will never heal . 

I never let him go , like I said last night . I never have the guts to do that . Cause he's everything . He is One in a million . He's too perfect for me . Too kind . He deserves better . He deserves to be happy and with me out of his life . Sometimes when we're too in love , we need to let the people we love go for their own good . I swear , I will never find someone like him ever again . I will never get that kind of love again . And I am really truly sad ... I just love him way too much . And he never knows .

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GEISHA